I am learning that it is in the darkest and most difficult places and times of life that Love is the most pure and brightest of white light. me
That bright light has dawned on me slowly.
It took me about 3.5 years of difficulty and of me begging God to give me relief.
Relief precisely in the way that I wanted it.
A lot of that time was spent in total or semi darkness with a heavy burden I carried every day—everywhere I went.
Was it my own doing?
Or was it God’s?
The Bible says that in Him there is no darkness at all.
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5
It also says…
“Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you…” Psalm 55:22a
and…
“Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
So I have my answer. There is no darkness in Him and He doesn’t want me carrying heavy burdens.
His light has been dawning on me for awhile now.
I hardly realized it at first.
I had been in that dark pit for so long it had become familiar to me.
The dawning has come most surely in ways that I didn’t even recognize or understand.
But some of what I see is this:
The answers I was seeking were not really the answers I needed or wanted at all. I wanted specific answers to specific problems and I wanted it clean and swift and tied up in a box with a bow.
{ I think we all know that God doesn’t work like that… }
Life doesn’t work like that.
People don’t cooperate like that. { Any of us. }
What I found is that the answer lies in what God (Love) does in and through us and others during every part of life.
That the beauty and joy and love is in the smile, the heart-prayer, the much-needed gift, the homemade meal, the nurse plumping the pillow and adjusting the blanket, the gentle brushing out of tangles in the hair, the flower picked and shared hand-to-hand that says, “I’m sorry. Sorry for cutting words” or “Sorry for your loss,” the holding of the hand, the quiet hug, the simple yet heart-to-heart encouragement of: “You’re going to be alright, and…. I’ll stay with you until you are,” the stopping everything you’re doing to help the old man up who has fallen in his garage and is yelling for help, lying next to someone on the bed who is sobbing with grief over a great loss, bringing a back scratcher to your sister who broke her wrist, listening for hours and hours and days and days as a friend tries to figure out why her husband left her.
The answers we are all seeking are right here!
Right now!
In the midst of us.
In our gifts and talents being shared IN LOVE with others. THAT is where the beauty of life is!
THIS is where the throbbing heartbeat of God can be found.
No gift of love or act of kindness is too small.
Speak the language of God.
It’s the language of Love.
If you don’t think you are “spiritual” just unconditionally and sacrificially love someone—right where you are…
There now. You’ve found yourself to be spiritual after all.
For God is Spirit, and God is Love.
For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.” John 4:24
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 1 John 4:16
keepin’ it real… (journaling….)
Whirling, swirling thoughts and emotions. Help me, God. Help me know what to do. I’m overwhelmed. How does one move forward when they are in a pit?! Father God, forgive me for my rantings. And help me walk through the process. Help me see whatever arrangements You are always preparing ahead of me. Help me pray more… and listen more. I’m scared. So little time left. I don’t want to mess it all up. I don’t want to waste my life! (Whatever that means). Caring for someone is not wasting it. There is something that Emily Dickinson wrote that I’ve always loved:
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
I think that I have not lived my life in vain. I pray that I have not. Help me be all You want to be. Help me do all you want me to do. Help me to help others. Inspire me with Your words and Your ways. If I try to make things up on my own—help others on my own—it’ll be lifeless. I want YOU to breathe on all that I say and do. I don’t want to glorify me. I want to glorify You. I want to help others find You and their places in You so that they, too, can be free to glorify You. I love You, God. And oh how I need You. Without You, I am nothing. Nothing at all.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION:
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World ~ Bob Goff
LINK: It’s All About Love…