God can deliver the most hardened criminal or the most hopeless addict in one second flat. With His eyes closed and His hands tied behind His back if He has a mind to. ~ Beth Moore, “Get Out of that Pit”
I remember the day so well.
The day Ted Bundy, infamous serial killer, was put to death.
Justice was served to this man who committed the most evil and vile of crimes.
Innocent women (and a young girl) lured and trapped, defiled and killed.
Nothing could be worse.
Families brokenhearted, angry, grieving, their lives tortuously changed.
Reading about it, and him, I felt sick. Looking at his face, I felt contempt. I personally don’t believe in the death penalty, but if anyone deserved it, this man did. His deeds were beyond horrific.
And then…there was an interview with the killer. An interview he requested. With a man I greatly respected. A fine and gentle Christian man, yet boldly courageous in His faith, whose life’s legacy was restoring marriages and families.
A man whose life reflected a great love for His Savior.
I felt like he was almost a father-figure to me.
That man? Dr. James Dobson.
So I decided to listen to the interview.
Ted Bundy wanted to give his story. And James Dobson was going to listen. So I would, too…
Ted Bundy was a very intelligent man with a twisted and profoundly evil dimension.
When he asked for the interview, he knew he was going to die. But he wasn’t asking for his life.
It seems he wanted to give a statement, a message, in hopes of making one good contribution to society.
He wanted to give a reason for how he had become what he had become.
Which was a monster.
His story was about pornography that he had discovered at a young age. And his progression with it that led down a very dark path which would eventually include violent murder.
He said that he knew that this did not happen with everyone who looked at pornography—that there was already a weakness or predisposed tendency within him.
I don’t want to stir up anything about the horrifying nature of his crimes and what he deserved for them.
We all know what he deserved.
But that’s the thing that hit me the day after I watched this interview. The interview that kinda confused me and made me think about the love and forgiveness of God.
Because Ted Bundy professed to having accepted the forgiveness of Jesus into his life and heart while there on death row.
I pondered: How far did the blood of Jesus reach? Who did it cover? Even serial killers?
Oh, that was a repulsive thought to me. It just couldn’t be so.
In my human thinking, I almost didn’t want such a person to accept God’s mercy and forgiveness.
{ I know that sounds awful but I guess I had this feeling of justice—that he needed to pay for his heinous crimes. He shouldn’t be “let off—even spiritually speaking.” These crimes just couldn’t be the same as stealing or lying.}
The morning after the interview, while driving to work, I heard on the radio that Ted Bundy had been put to death.
Yes.
Justice.
Removal of this blight against society.
This brutal killer.
This monster who had taken so many precious lives and left a multitude of victims behind who were trying to patch their broken lives back together—parents, siblings, friends.
I wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. What a relief.
I shut off the radio and turned on some music. A song by a popular Christian singer at the time, Sandi Patti, came on. It was called “In Heaven’s Eyes.”
These are the words that pierced my heart that day:
A fervent prayer rose up to heaven
A fragile soul is losing ground
Sorting through the earthly babble
Heaven heard the sound
This was a life of no distinction
No successes, only tries
Yet gazing down on this unlovely one
There was love in heaven’s eyes
In heaven’s eyes there are no losers
In heaven’s eyes no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me
Amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven’s eyes
The orphaned child, the wayward father
The homeless traveler in the rain
When life goes by and no one bothers
Heaven feels the pain
Looking down God sees each heartache
Knows each sorrow, hears each cry
And looking up we’ll see compassion’s fire
Ablaze in heaven’s eyes
In heaven’s eyes there are no losers
In heaven’s eyes there is no hopeless cause
There’s only people like you with feelings like me
And we’re amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven’s eyes
I know, I KNOW(!!!) that the words aren’t enough to truly cover the magnitude of the egregious acts Ted Bundy had done.
Or so it seems.
But, at that time, the Holy Spirit was working on my heart.
That’s the only explanation I can give for the gut-wrenching sobs that took hold of me while I listened to the song.
And I knew, I KNEW, by a revelation from God, that if Ted Bundy had sincerely asked for forgiveness, he had been forgiven.
That the love and blood of Jesus Christ was enough—more than enough—for even him.
The most wicked and undeserving among us can come to accept this freely given gift.
It more than boggles the mind.
And that is why we have to receive and know it by heart, by faith.
Please know that I am not saying that I definitely know or believe that Ted Bundy did have a genuine heart change.
But what I did get was a revelation that day of God’s Love and that it was possible for Ted Bundy to have received and accepted that Love.
And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God’s love and grace was, and is, that amazing and great.
That it even includes… serial killers.
{ I say this with from a deep part of my soul that also feels the searing pain of the victims. And I know that Love is there for them, too. }
Often, too often, when we think of love, we think of flowers, giggles, and sweet, romantic words.
We don’t think of how truly powerful Love is. That it can radically change lives!
I have never forgotten this God-moment in my life.
Some of the most intensely powerful testimonies I have ever heard are from people who have forgiven the killers of their loved ones.
Especially stunning and humanly impossible is this forgiveness coming from moms who have lost a child through murder.
I once saw a murderer stand before the family members of his victims and, stone-faced, he took the seething anger and hatred spat at him, as each took their turn.
And then, one of the victim’s mother got up to speak.
She told of her faith in Jesus and that He told her to forgive and to love.
And after sharing a bit about her beautiful daughter that she loved more than words could express, and her grief at being without her, she then told the killer that she forgave him.
And that God loved him.
I watched his lip start to quiver, and his body begin to shake, and then he completely and entirely broke.
I’m thinking he had probably never encountered real Love in his entire life.
And, believe me, this was real Love.
And when you come face-to-face with it, there’s no escape.
In this case, I’m sure it was as painful for him as it was beautiful.
He came face-to-face with the horrific damage and vileness of his sin.
And he saw Love—directed towards him—as a response.
And he knew he DID NOT DESERVE the kind of Love he was being given.
** Selah. Pause, envision this scene, that sinner, that Love… and let it sink deep within you. **
On a more personal note, I think my revelation that God’s love was for every single person—even for a monster like Ted Bundy, and even when I couldn’t feel it myself for these individuals—was given to me, for one reason, so I could share that Love with others, and specifically, someone I knew well.
This person had abused children and his entire family for many, many years. While doing a stint in prison I became his pen pal. I shared about the love of God, demonstrated to us through Jesus, that extended to even him.
He opened his hard heart to me in a letter and he told me he had done things so horrible that he was sure God couldn’t love or save him. He seemed to never be able to talk face-to-face about this with anyone—I’m certain because of his deep shame.
But because of what I read in the Bible, and my revelation of God’s Love for someone like Ted Bundy, I could confidently assure this family member that, yes, God did love Him and he need only receive it (Him–Jesus) and repent for what he had done.
Sadly, he did not receive this Love at that time, but later in life (on his deathbed, actually), he did. And, for the record, I was not the only one to plant these seeds of God’s love in his heart. Amazingly, most of those he abused ended up accepting Jesus into their lives and then shared His love with their abuser.
May we all experience, by giving and receiving, this love so powerful, so amazing.
And, once again, this portion of scripture in Ephesians…
And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself. Ephesians 3:17-19
And if there was ever a time to take a “selah” moment, it is with the above scripture.
( Selah: “pause and calmly think about that”; measure carefully and reflect upon the preceding statements. )
What greater revelation can we ever have in this life than to know, really know, that God loves us.
None.
Not one.
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO SEE WHAT POWERFUL FORGIVENESS LOOKS LIKE (posting this in a couple other places in this blog)
On January 24, 2018, Rachael Denhollander, a lawyer and mother of three, stood across from Dr. Larry Nassar, a former USA Gymnastics national team osteopathic physician and former sports medicine doctor at Michigan State University, who sexually abused at least 156 young girls primarily under the guise of medical treatment. Rachael, and 155 other young women, delivered their victim impact statements before a judge at the trial of Larry Nassar. Rachael was a 15-year-old Kalamazoo homeschooler when she was molested by Larry Nassar. Her testimony is at times graphic (viewer warning) but I wanted to put it here because at the end she talks about God’s forgiveness and it is powerful. Her entire testimony is powerful. 36 minutes long. If you want to listen to just the part about God’s forgiveness, go to the 26 minute mark.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION:
Riven ~ Jerry Jenkins (This is a fiction book. It’s long and for a good majority of it, very difficult to plod through—at least that’s how I felt about it. And it was such heavy, DEPRESSING subject matter. But a friend had begged me to read it, so I did. As I slogged through and would threaten to stop reading, she kept pleading for me to get to the end. And, oh, it was worth it. I then convinced my husband to read it and it was the same pattern of “why are you having me read this depressing book???” [Only he was listening to it on CDs while driving.] I knew the day he had finished it because when he got home, he hugged me so tight and thanked and thanked me for recommending the book. So…this is the experience of 3 people. Not everyone may be touched the way we were… The subject matter is related to what I just wrote about in this blog. I read somewhere that this is the book that Jerry Jenkins (the author of the wildly successful Left Behind series) always wanted to write—that it was “in him” for years.)
Note: You can find Dr. Dobson’s interview with Ted Bundy online. It is not for the faint of heart but if you feel it can help you or someone you love, especially someone gripped by pornography, then by all means read it.
Also, I know this isn’t your usual piece on “the love of God” but it’s my own experience and revelation so I thought I would share it.
LINK: God’s Love for Victims