Does it build us up? Or tear us down.
For me? It has been, for the most part, very good.
Oh, I have my times when I want to unfriend the whole site (not one individual). And before anyone gets offended, just know that sometimes I even want to unfriend myself.
{ Gosh, I sure can be annoying sometimes. }
You see…and I’m sure you already know…Facebook is all about people…and relationships…and everything that goes with that—which can be very good.
Annnnnd…also so very…complicated.
What can I say except? “Peoples is peoples.” (As Pete, a Manhattan “restaurateur” wisely explained to Kermit the Frog, in the movie The Muppets Take Manhattan 1984).
“Hey. I tell you what is. Big city, hmm? Live. Work, huh? But. Is not city open? Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So, peoples is peoples. Okay?” Pete
No, it doesn’t seem to make much sense and, yet, it does. Everyone who has seen the movie remembers that line: “Peoples is peoples.” And I don’t think it could apply more than it does to Facebook!
I have very good peoples. So my experience on Facebook has been very good.
But I can understand why some people get bummed when scrolling through the snippets of the lives of our friends and acquaintances. First of all, it’s a pretty fair representation of how our whole culture has gone—INTO SNIPPETS!
No wonder we’re all a little frazzled (a lotta frazzled) and we can hardly remember what “bit” of information or memory to attach to which person:
“Congratulations on the birth of your new grandbaby!” we might exclaim to a friend we see in the grocery store. They look at us like we’ve gone completely mad as they respond: “I don’t have children. Remember? So…ummm…no grandchildren.”
Oh. Yeah. We sheepishly begin reorganizing thoughts in our brain as we reattach “the grandbaby birth” to the correct person, and recall that this friend in the grocery store right in front of us just retired.
Sigh.
Yes. There are a lot of snippets to keep properly organized these days!
News snippets. YouTube snippets. Song snippets. Texts. Tweets. Posts. E-mails. Instagram. Blogs.
It’s tough to keep everything straight. (And, for the record, the above story did NOT happen to me or anyone I know. It was just an imaginative example of what I think COULD happen! Really.)
The other aspect of Facebook that I’ve seen (and experienced) is that it sometimes can be a lot like those Christmas letters we used to receive—-or still do? (Although now people rarely write anything at all at Christmastime. Just a family photo imprinted with everyone’s names. No need for a letter because of social media! We are in touch all year long!)
Anyway, the Christmas letters I’m referring to are the ones that, in a just a few paragraphs, describe vacations to exotic places all over the globe, list every amazing accomplishment of each family member—including all the scholarships to Ivy League schools, raises, awards, honor rolls, first places at the State Fair, my kid won the National Spelling Bee–3 years in a row(!)—and ALSO broke an Olympic record for the butterfly stroke, and my husband and I are still blissfully in love and make goo-goo eyes at each other every second we can even after 30 years of marriage— THOSE letters.
That’s when comparison starts creeping in.
And we start feeling “less than.”
Their life is great. And my life is…ROTTEN!
We might look at our own possibly BORING life with its struggles, quirky family members, “didn’t get the raise,” had to downsize and didn’t want to, my kid flunked 1st grade, going to marriage counseling and still struggling—and we start to feel like a second-rate human being—a failure.
We aren’t as popular (16 friends to someone else’s 482 friends), pretty, smart, accomplished, rich, or well-traveled.
Comparison is really, really easy to fall into with Facebook.
It’s important to make sure your “knower” is up and running on all cylinders—the knower that knows that you know how valuable and important YOU are in the whole big plan that God has.
That no one is better or more important or valuable.
It’s then when we can enjoy the accomplishments and joys of others.
If you know that you can’t handle all “the news” it’s best to stay away until you are feeling better.
Facebook is probably the most “dangerous” when it comes to teenagers. This is the stage where all the insecurities are wide open. Facebook can become a public venue for bullying…and that has led to some tragic endings. It can be a measurement for popularity—-and a less popular young person will spend hours comparing who has more friends and that no one cares what they post, etc. Or if they don’t think they are attractive or are extremely shy, they are self-conscious about posting all the selfies. And this also bleeds over into thoughts and feelings concerning their home life—is it something they are proud to share?
Apparently statistics show that spending too much time on Facebook leads to depression and anxiety. I’m sure this can be true, but it isn’t really the platform of Facebook that is doing this. It’s just another place for all that relationship stuff to take place—the good and the bad, as we’ve been talking about.
Facebook is definitely an influence in our society but so are other media sources such as music, movies, television programs, magazines, books. They are all avenues for good, and avenues for bad. We have to make choices about what we watch and listen to. It matters!
And I think that just like all those other influences, WE can make the choice to be the ones to bring GOOD news, to share inspiring stories, scriptures, funny photos, and to make sure to notice what others are sharing and to read, care, pray, and comment. It can be a tool for good. I know of one friend who posts a lot about lost pets, animal abuse (sad to read but awareness is necessary), and of animals who need homes. She also posts a lot of funny, endearing stories about her own pets. So she is bringing positive change for all the furry ones. We can actually get involved in real life ways when we are made aware of needs.
It was also determined that Facebook is addictive. Well…so are a lot of other things! It has to be brought into balance, just like any other aspect of our lives. You can’t throw everything out because some people abuse it!
I think it’s also important to remember that Facebook isn’t a fair representation of real life. I think we mostly go there to escape “real life”—or at least “the whole” of real life.
We get on Facebook to share the best of life—the highlights, and the funny and inspirational stories of our own and the world at large.
Nevertheless, we can’t lose sight of the fact that behind every post and happy story is a real person with a real life that isn’t always happy or easy.
And real people need real love and encouragement.
Every. Single. One.
Even the ones that on the surface seem like they have it all together.
Because…well…YOU know how we know this truth. It’s because…peoples is peoples.
And peoples need love and encouragement.
Yep.
Every. Single. One.
Every. Single. Day.
Keep this in mind next time you get on Facebook. Use it as an opportunity to love…not to compare. You’ll walk away feeling a whole lot better yourself, them, and life in general.
So for me, Facebook has been a blessing as I’ve been able to stay connected with friends and family all over this country and all over the globe. I learn more than I ever would have without it. I’ve watched nieces and nephews grow up, been to weddings, mission trips, church services, birthday parties, and more, that I would have missed out on. I’ve also made some new friends—real ones with depth, substance, and longevity—and re-established friends from my past–even healed a few little wounds from the teenage years. So, yes. A blessing. Facebook can be what you make it to be. If you decide to participate, know the pitfalls, and also make a decision to see the good and BE the good!
I know this quote has been almost overshared of late but it really is appropriate to end with here:
You must be the change you want to see in the world. ….and this can even include Facebook!
Mahatma Gandhi
Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 – 1948)