Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. *
Half agony, half hope.
That would be me.
Like ALL human beings…I am complex. I hardly understand myself on most days.
But, today, THIS day, (and many other days, I’m sure) if I had to give a one line summary about myself, I think it would be this short quote from “Persuasion” by Jane Austen:
“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…I have loved none but You.”
I took the liberty of changing the “you” to “You” because I would make this declaration to God.
When I was 19 years old, Jesus pierced my soul. I would never be the same.
That piercing has continued…for 38 years to date.
There has been much joy and blessing and hope and freedom…but there has also been that agony part—mostly stemming from living on this earth where things are often not as we want them to be.
And also because I passionately love One who I usually don’t understand…but I long to…
Life seems to be a blur, a great mystery. As per God, I seem to know Him no longer. ~ Jason R. McNaughten, pastor (journal entry while depressed)
But He knows and understands me (us)…and that’s what matters most:
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. Psalm 139:1-3
You know that word “pierce”? How it is sometimes used in this way: as a “piercing” look? That means to “search.” God has “searched me.”
I am pierced / searched / known…by God.
In Hebrews 4:12 it says, “For the Word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner [revealer] of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
You see? There it is again. We are pierced by God. He knows us. And still…He loves us. Just the way we are. He always did. And He always will… even in our times of depression and questions and doubt. There is comfort in that.
In this love affair with my God and Savior, I am half agony and half hope.
Just being real.
I wish I could say I am 100% hope with 0% agony. But I would be lying. And the piercing Searcher of my heart and soul would know… Thinking more about it, I can say that the ratio changes. Daily. Sometimes I’m more hope than agony.
A very mature Christian friend of mine who happens to be a counselor once told me that she and her best friend have a saying that sums up their faith in God: “I have a deep abiding faith… (dramatic pause)…that comes and goes.”
That’s honesty. Because I think we’ve all been there. I think it’s mostly where we live every day.
A phrase/quote by Henry David Thoreau comes to mind:
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Christians are NOT exempt from depression. Just read the Psalms (written by King David—a man after God’s own heart!).
So if you are depressed, you are not alone. You may FEEL alone, but what you are suffering is being felt by MILLIONS of others!
And some of those millions have become compassionate helpers for those suffering with depression. There has been a lot of study given to this in every arena of the human existence. You can find the tip of the iceberg here in this writing. I pray you will find at least one thing that will help you get started. Just one small step/change can begin your ascent from the dark pit of depression.
One day I doodled this little drawing and shared it with a friend:
Her response: “Yea, that’s the t-shirt we all secretly wear under our ‘Life is Good’ shirts.”
Some days we are simply overwhelmed with the beauty and majesty and love of our God. We are prayer and faith warriors. And other days we feel as dry as a desert. And abandoned and alone in that desert.
This is the battle between the flesh and the spirit—and it is a battle that will continue for as long as we are in these bodies of flesh.
A lot of my agony and battle and struggle is with depression.
So, I would like to touch briefly on this subject and give some of the causes of depression.
I was told by my counselor friend that some personality types—usually the sensitive, creative ones—often battle with depression. That it’s part of the package. Although I felt a little depressed (ha) hearing that, it also helped to know that it’s actually normal for me to have that tendency—to know that this will probably always be a struggle for me.
There are Christians, like some flowers, that blossom and flourish in the darkness and shade. Not all plants, or people, are bright sun lovers. Perhaps this helps us to understand and be more empathetic to those who are hurting. It is part of our design and purpose.
But this is still not an excuse to wallow in it, coddle it, or completely give in to it—especially if it becomes paralyzing, if it moves beyond our being equipped with empathy to help others, and beyond our ability to live our own lives in a fully functioning way.
We should have plans and safeguards in place if we feel ourselves slipping into a depression.
And it should not be ignored if it goes on too long and the symptoms worsen.
Depression, in which feelings of inadequacy play a major role, is on the rise. According to the World Federation for Mental Health, “One out of ten people suffer from major depression and almost one out of five persons has suffered from this disorder during his (or her) lifetime… By 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of disability…and by 2030 it is expected to be the largest contributor to disease burdens.” ~ Norm Cohen, “Feeling Worthless and Depression,” PsychCentral, www.psychcentral.com)
Those statistics and the prognostication are staggering! I’ve thought about how here in the U.S. the percentages of people suffering with depression are rising, and yet we are a country so blessed with abundance and opportunity. Why would that be so? Are we perhaps chasing after the wrong things to make us happy? Are we filling our days with the wrong pursuits? Are we eating too much of the wrong kinds of foods?
SOME STATISTICS AND CAUSES FOR DEPRESSION
According to sources, including the Mayo Clinic, women are nearly twice as likely to experience depression than men.
(The following statistics on depression in women come from the National Institutes of Mental Health [NIMH])
• One in four women will experience severe depression at some point in life.
• Depression affects twice as many women as men, regardless of racial and ethnic background or income.
• Depression is the number one cause of disability in women.
• In general, married women experience depression more than single women do, and depression is common among young mothers who stay at home full-time with small children.
• Women who are victims of sexual and physical abuse are at much greater risk of depression.
• At least 90 percent of all cases of eating disorders occur in women, and there is a strong relationship between eating disorders and depression.
• Depression can put women at risk of suicide. While more men than women die from suicide, women attempt suicide about twice as often as men do.
• Only about one-fifth of all women who suffer from depression seek treatment.
I was interested to see that married women experience depression more than single women! I think I may have a few ideas as to the reason for that, found in my blog, “Whose Shoes…”
So here is my own list to add to the causes for depression:
• Living life on this earth. Let’s realize right from the get-go that we live in a fallen world and it’s fraught with difficult challenges, sorrows, tragedies, etc. Certainly all of this can lead us to depression. We long for a life without the suffering. It’s heaven we are truly longing for…
• Our temperament type. Some people are more sensitive and prone to depression, as I stated at the beginning of this blog.
• A chemical imbalance. Some people do need drugs to balance them out. Or a more healthy lifestyle including eating the right foods, proper sleep, and less stress!
• Troubled relationships, financial problems, work-related stress, major life changes, disappointments, regrets, and on and on we could go in regard to personal problems that trigger depression.
• Death of a loved one.
• Sickness—-especially chronic sickness—-and other physical challenges.
• Isolation/lack of community.
• S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder): I thought I’d put this one on the list because I experience it here in Florida in the opposite way than those up north who have many months of being stuck inside—their reason being not getting enough sun. For me it is 5-7 months of TOO MUCH SUN and unbearable heat and humidity that keeps us Floridians stuck inside. Air conditioning is not the same as fresh, cool air. And I need nature to really thrive. The result? Depression. (And, with more thought about that, I probably am actually not really getting enough sun because it’s far too hot to enjoy it. I love the warmth of the sun in the cooler/cold months.
• Unfulfilled dreams.
* Genetics. “Research suggests that approximately 40% of individuals with depression suffer as a result of a genetic link. But even if this is true, it does not mean you have to succumb.” ~ Dr. Michelle Bengtson
* Not connected to your passion and purpose—not being in the right line of work or ministry. (This is much of what I talk about on this website and was one of my primary root causes. (Along with genetics, my environment [Florida heat], and temperament type.)
HERE ARE SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS TO BE AWARE OF TO DETERMINE IF YOU OR SOME YOU LOVE IS DEPRESSED AND HOW SERIOUS IT MIGHT BE:
Although depression might seem overwhelming, there’s effective treatment. Even severe depression often can be successfully treated. Seek help if you have any signs and symptoms of depression, such as:
• Ongoing feelings of sadness, guilt, or hopelessness
• Loss of interest in things you once enjoyed
• Significant changes in your sleep pattern, such as trouble falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much
• Fatigue, or unexplained pain or other physical symptoms without an apparent cause
• Problems concentrating or remembering things
• Changes in appetite leading to significant weight loss or weight gain
• Physical aches and pains
• Feeling as though life isn’t worth living, or having thoughts of suicide (Source: Recognizing depression and seeking treatment –from mayoclinic.org)
So we can see that there are a multitude of causes of depression and the symptoms can range from mild to extreme.
I’m not a psychologist or a doctor or a theologian or a pastor. There are times we could need one of those for any depression we might be experiencing and when we feel we need someone with specialized expertise. By all means seek out the help. Do not feel guilty or ashamed! Honestly? I think probably everyone could use a few therapy sessions—fresh ears and eyes that have an entirely different perspective for our situations—a trained, experienced perspective.
WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED
Depression can be completely debilitating. The Catch 22 of it is that we desperately need help and we know that’s true, but because we are so depressed we can’t even seem to be able to muster up the energy or desire to apply the means that could help us.
This is why most seriously depressed people need a helper, an intercessor. This could include a doctor who knows how to treat depression with diet (and drugs, if necessary, and sometimes it IS necessary. I personally know people who needed the drugs), a counselor, and perhaps a Christian friend (or a pastor) who knows how to pray and encourage.
This team can address and find the roots for our depression. We often need this holistic approach because determining the cause(s) can be sometimes be difficult.
A physician can see if there are physical reasons such as thyroid problems, hormonal imbalances, dietary deficiencies (fish oil has been known to help with depression), a prescription drug causing it (an often overlooked cause!) or other reasons. He, or she, will surely recommend exercise because it has been found to help combat depression by raising endorphin and serotonin levels—as well as all the other overall health benefits we need from exercise.
A counselor/psychiatrist can help sort out emotional causes—possible circumstances or attitudes that are contributing to depression. This professional can help teach us better ways of coping. And a round of anti-depressants might be temporarily necessary for more serious depression, while causes are addressed.
The pastor or Christian friend can help identify underlying spiritual reasons for depression. This could be unresolved relationship problems that have resulted in unforgiveness, bitterness, discouragement, etc. or they may be shame from unaddressed sins.
Here is a physician’s suggestion for the physical angle to help combat depression:
6 Strategies to Eliminate Depression ~Dr. Mark Hyman
“While uncovering the causes of depression can require patience and diligence, I’ve found everyone benefits when they employ these six strategies”:
1. Eat whole, real food. Feed your brain and body with a nutrient-dense, whole, fresh, plant-based diet that includes plenty of protein and healthy fats. Your brain is about 60 percent fat, so it makes sense eating plenty of healthy fats (and including anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids) and protein can help heal your brain.
2. Cut out sugar. If you’ve ever eaten something sugary, “crashed” a little later, and felt absolutely miserable, you know how sugar can contribute to depression. Studies confirm sugar consumption can contribute to depression. Become a detective and find and avoid hidden sources of sugar, which are more prevalent than you think.
3. Exercise regularly. Studies show exercise is as good as, and even better than anti-depressants.
4. Get enough sleep. Terrible sleep will only contribute to and exacerbate depression, so you want to aim for eight hours’ solid, uninterrupted sleep every night.
5. Control stress levels. Constantly feeling stressed out becomes a surefire way to become depressed or stoke the fires of depression. Find what calms you and practice it regularly, whether that includes meditation, yoga, or just walking your dog.
6. Take the right nutrients. Many nutrients can alleviate depression and support optimal brain health, including omega-3 fatty acids and 5-HTP. I suggest working with an integrative practitioner to customize a nutrient program that works for you. Mark Hyman, M.D. http://danielplan.com/blogs/dp/6-strategies-to-eliminate-depression/
As stated above, depression often has spiritual roots. Roots that could have begun as far back as our childhood. Sometimes we need to be able to identify the source. But it is entirely possible that all we need to do is allow the supernatural properties of God’s Word to go, and do, what we cannot understand. By faith we “eat” His Word (reading, meditating, speaking). It searches out the deep places in us to bring enlightenment and healing.
But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 1 Corinthians 2:10
One very simple, yet powerful way to begin IMMEDIATELY to combat depression and instill some hope is to write down 2 or 3 scriptures on an index card that particularly speak to you and begin reading them out loud several times a day. Personalize them and read them like a prayer.
For example, for the first two lines of Psalm 34, you would say, “The Lord hears ME when I call to Him for help! He rescues ME from all my troubles!”
Even if you don’t believe what you are saying (and initially you probably won’t!), know that “the believing” will come. Here is how I know this to be true—from the Bible (and I have experienced it, as well):
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17
There is power in God’s Word that we can’t fully understand with our minds. Like taking medicine, it begins to work on the symptoms and roots of whatever ails us. Please know this isn’t a shallow solution to a deep and complex problem. On the contrary, it is the most potent and pervasive remedy of all.
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12a
Here are just a few scriptures you might consider using:
The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help.
He rescues them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:17-18
I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love,
for you have seen my troubles,
and you care about the anguish of my soul. Psalm 31:7
I waited patiently for the LORD to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1-3
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again—
my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:11
I would add to all the above, that I believe there is deep and lasting healing found in music, art, prayer, TIME IN NATURE, and allowing yourself to openly grieve (to lament great loss) something that perhaps you have not fully grieved. Pretending you don’t hurt or feel loss doesn’t allow for the healing that the grieving process brings.
Here on this website, Born to Bloom, I am primarily approaching the subject of depression as a regular person—a layperson—with just my real-life personal experiences. And I’m focusing on less serious situations. I mentioned all of the above because I know that depression has so many causes. And to bloom properly, we must get to the root of all the reasons why we aren’t able to walk in our passion and purpose.
For me, I know that the source of a lot of the depression I have experienced in my life was due to not discovering, cultivating, and using the gifts God put in me. At least, not to their fullest.
I think depression can be considered normal when it is a signal that changes need to made. God can use depression to motivate women to make those necessary changes. ~ A quote from a psychologist .…and I forgot to make a note of who it was 🙁
For years I have read and studied books on the subject of finding your purpose and how it comes through using your gifts and talents, and that if you DON’T exercise those gifts, you will be frustrated and probably depressed. I really do believe that!
I have observed in my own life that one of the changes I needed to make was to be more involved in activities that were in line with my talents and passions and purpose—-that it was then I seemed to forget all about being depressed! I would get lost in what I’m doing—something that I love—something I was created to do. And when we are doing what we are created to do, helping others is always a part of that. And that brings us joy!
So I would like for you to try this particular depression cure to see if it might work for you, too. Tap into your God-given creativity. And share your gift with someone.
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. ~ Tom Bodett
I’m most certainly not making light of clinical depression and I repeat that if you need help, get it. But once your emotions are stabilized, I know, from experience, that you will be right back to needing a creative outlet and purpose.
SONGS TO MINISTER AND HEAL
“You’re Not Alone” Meredith Andrews
I searched for love when the night came and it closed in
I was alone, but You found me where I was hiding
And now I’ll never ever be the same
It was the sweetest voice that called my name, saying
You’re not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love, I’ve never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I’m the One who’s loved you all your life
All your life
You cry yourself to sleep
‘Cuz the hurt is real and the pain cuts deep
All hope seems lost with heartache your closest friend
And everyone else long gone
You’ve had to face the music on your own
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home, saying
You’re not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every tear
My love, I’ve never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I’m the One who’s loved you all your life
All your life
Faithful and true forever
My love will carry you
You’re not alone for I, I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love, I’ve never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
Your darkest night
And I’m the One who’s loved you all your life
All your life
“Your Hands” JJ Heller
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when…
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave…
I never leave Your hands
“You Are” Colton Dixon
When I can’t find the words to say how much it hurts
You are the healing in my heart
When all that I can see are broken memories
You are the light that’s in the dark
You are the song
You are the song I’m singing
You are the air
You are the air I’m breathing
You are the hope
You are the hope I needed
Oh oh
You are
And when my circumstance leaves me with empty hands
You are the provider of my needs
When all my dirtiness has left me helpless
You are the rain that washes me
You are the song
You are the song I’m singing
You are the air
You are the air I’m breathing
You are the hope
You are the hope I needed
Oh oh
You are the song
You are the song I’m singing
You are the air
You are the air I’m breathing
You are the hope
You are the hope I needed
Oh oh
If I had no voice
If I had no tongue
I would dance for you like the rising sun
And when that day comes and I see your face
I will shout your endless glorious praise
If I had no voice
If I had no tongue
I would dance for you like the rising sun
And when that day comes and I see your face
I will shout your endless glorious praise
You are the song
You are the song I’m singing
You are the air
You are the air I’m breathing
You are the hope
You are the hope I needed
“No Fight Left” ~ JJ Heller
It’s hard to tell if my eyes are open
When all I see is dark
And it’s easy, it’s easy to lose my step
To lose my step
There is no fight left on the inside
But maybe that’s where I should be
I’ve given up trying
I’m giving it all to you
And I used to dream of a life so lovely
There’d be no room for tears
Now letting go, yeah
Letting go is the hardest part
It’s the hardest part
There is no fight left on the inside
But maybe that’s where I should be
I’ve given up trying
I’m giving it all to you
Ohhh…
There is no place I can go
Where you don’t already know
How to reach right down and pull me out
I need you, I need you, I need you
There is no fight left on the inside
But maybe that’s where I should be
I’ve given up trying
I’m giving it all…
There is no fight left on the inside
But maybe that’s where I should be
I’ve given up trying
I’m giving it all, yeah
I’ve given up trying
I’m giving it all to you
BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS—with a variety of personal accounts and helpful suggestions. I believe that God, by His Spirit, will lead you to the cure that you need.
Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression ~ Dr. Michele Bengtson
The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs ~ Stephen S. Ilardi
Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who suffer from depression ~ Zack Eswine
Loved Back to Life: How I Found the Courage to Live Free ~ Sheila Walsh
The UltraMind Solution: Fix Your Broken Brain by Healing Your Body First ~ Dr. Mark Hyman
Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness ~ Edward T. Welch
Straight Talk on Depression: Overcoming Emotional Battles with the Power of God’s Word ~ Joyce Meyer
* http//www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs369/en/
LINK: Are You Done Yet? (pouting, murmuring, and complaining…) (baggage)