When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior… Isaiah 43:2b,3a
** Big, heavy sigh. ** { honestly, that’s how I feel about this subject. }
Here’s where it gets really, really tough. Believing in God’s love for the victims of horrific crimes and abuse…and believing in God’s Love from a victim’s perspective.
And just what does a middle-aged, middle-class, Caucasian American woman know about being a victim?
This is what I want you to know.
Anyone who is alive—living in this fallen world—is a victim at some time in some way.
I have been a victim.
And, yes. There is a scale of lesser crimes to the most horrible.
Mine would fall somewhere in the middle. Middle-aged, middle-class, middle-of-the-road victim. That would be me.
But the crime was enough to give me PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) for a number of years—which included night panic attacks.
And I asked all the questions a victim asks: Why me? Why didn’t you intervene, God? You could have protected us! How can I trust You anymore???
And when it came to the perpetrator? I wanted nothing more than for him to burn in hell. Yea. Nice thoughts from a sweet Christian woman. I had never entertained thoughts like this before. They felt ugly and vicious…and justifiably RIGHT!
Because, you see, I was not the only victim involved. The primary victim was a very innocent elderly family member.
I railed against GOD! He was not the right one to be angry with, but I couldn’t rail against the one who committed the crime. We never saw his face—never knew his real name.
So I took out all my anger on God—the One I thought would protect us from such a crime.
{ Sadly, I did this for a very long time. }
As time passed, it would happen less and less.
But I still did it.
And I began to feel shame for doing so.
I never thought I would be one of the God blamers.
But nothing of this magnitude had ever happened to me before… and I didn’t respond the way I thought I would. I had lesser hurts and wrongful sufferings in my life. But nothing on the scale of this.
And so what do we do when we find ourselves a victim—when we become so paralyzed and stuck at the scene and timeframe of the crime. ( In our minds. )
Well…everyone is different. And we have to accept that and give grace to ourselves and others as they work through the acceptance and healing of our victimization.
God is patient and understanding as we go through this painful process.
The good news that I want to share with you is that when you are ready, when the time comes that you no longer want to be defined by the bad thing that happened to you, God really can take all that pain and suffering, and all your tears, and change it into something new.
{ It may be really hard to believe that now, but it’s true. }
It has happened in my life and I think we all know that we’ve seen it happen in many, many lives of others who have gone through tragic circumstances or abuse. He actually USES this ugly, painful time (your ashes) and turns it into something beautiful.
I could not even begin to try and tell you all the steps you need to go through to find that freedom. Some of them are indeed found on this website. In fact, that’s how much of this message of “Born to Bloom” was birthed. During that time of pain.
If you find yourself particularly stuck in your negative, victim-story you might consider counseling. { There is no shame at all in seeking out help to sort it all out and to maybe get some ideas and “tools” to help you. }
God loves you. Even when it seems like He couldn’t possibly (because He allowed this bad thing to happen. )
Let Him transform your ashes, your pain, your tears into a thing of beauty that will inspire and help others. Jesus paid the price for you to have these–
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:1-3
Hallelujah and Amen!
A wonderful resource book to help you walk through this is by Joyce Meyer, a victim of sexual abuse that started when she was a child until she left home as an older teen. Her book is called: Beauty For Ashes.
And I also highly recommend the fiction book AND movie, “The Shack.” I was very concerned about this book when I first heard the discussions about it but I gave it a chance, and I, like many others, thought it was one of the most powerful books written concerning tragic loss—being a victim of a senseless violent crime—and of God’s love and grace and mercy. The movie stayed very true to the book. I cried through most of the book and ditto for the movie.
And by now you know how much I believe in the healing power of music. I believe it heals and ministers at a level we can’t always understand or reach with our own thoughts, prayers, and words. And when the music contains God’s Word—sung through lyrics and melody—it is even more powerful—a healing balm to all the wounded places in us.
I like this song about God’s love, based on 1 Corinthians 13:
Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time
Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don’t
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you
When my heart won’t make a sound
When I can’t turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this
Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life
Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO SEE WHAT POWERFUL FORGIVENESS LOOKS LIKE (posting this in a couple other places in this blog–in case someone only reads one blog…)
On January 24, 2018, Rachael Denhollander, a lawyer and mother of three, stood across from Dr. Larry Nassar, a former USA Gymnastics national team osteopathic physician and former sports medicine doctor at Michigan State University, who sexually abused at least 156 young girls primarily under the guise of medical treatment. Rachael, and 155 other young women, delivered their victim impact statements before a judge at the trial of Larry Nassar. Rachael was a 15-year-old Kalamazoo homeschooler when she was molested by Larry Nassar. Her testimony is at times graphic (viewer warning) but I wanted to put it here because at the end she talks about God’s forgiveness and it is powerful. Her entire testimony is powerful. 36 minutes long. If you want to listen to just the part about God’s forgiveness, go to the 26 minute mark.
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: